It was actually going pretty well today in the day, but i can't say much about it now. 

How sad is it that the two things stopping me from being happy with life are actually the two utmost important things in my life. 

One would be studies, and you guys can guess the second for yourself. 

No prizes for getting it right though because if you've been following my blog long enough, you will know that my life is so imperfect that sometimes I'm just living in denial. 

Making myself think that everything is okay has become an everyday thing, and it's so pathetic of me. 

But is it that hard to let me truly be happy for once? 

I need to feel that my life is complete. Just once. Can I? May I? 

Truly truly happy. With nothing to worry about, the people that matter to love me for who I am. No inequality, no disappointments, no arguments. 

Just joy and awesome company. 

Can I just have that for once? Even a minute is good. I just want to know what happiness feels like.